In November and December (pre-Christmas Break) I was breathing such a sigh of relief, where Reagan was concerned.
Reagan's School teacher said that Reagan was functioning like a typical 1st-grader. She was fully-integrated in to the class. And she was able to handle the same workload as her peers. It was awesome!
Then, came the holidays. Not having the daily structure that school provides, over the break wreaked havoc on Reagan!
I expected it. But not to the extreme that it was.
School started again, and I kept telling myself that, "any day now, we'll turn a corner; and things will go back to the way they were".
Two weeks in to January Reagan was still giving me a run for my money. I made an emergency appointment with the psychiatrist. She decided to increase Reagan's dose of Zoloft.
Oh boy! We were off to the races!
Reagan's inattention at school skyrocketed. Her violence toward Me, and Nick, and Elsa and Cohen increased tenfold.
I know how difficult it is for Reagan to deal with change. I actually approached our church primary president, back in December with a request that she not change Reagan's church teacher, at the new year, like they usually do.
Never, would I have dreamed of doing something like this, pre-child days. But special kids, call for special measures :)
Reagan loved her primary teacher last year! But the primary president felt like things would be OK if Reagan got a new teacher. I didn't push the issue.
There are actually two ladies teaching Reagan's class now. And I really like both of them. But Reagan has not acclimatized well, at all.
In fact, today, Reagan's class ended up combining with her old teacher's class. When I asked Reagan how primary was? She said, "It was good. I sat on my old teacher's lap and took a nap".
That's a far better report than the ones I've been getting for the past 7 weeks.
It's a learning experience. I guess I am just going to have to steel myself during the months of September, and January. The times when Reagan will get new school and church teachers.
Back to the church stuff. At the beginning of February the Primary President called me. And just so it's clear, I actually adore the Primary President! If she weren't such a busy lady I would work my tail off to make her my BFF. She's great.
During the course of the conversation she conveyed to me that Reagan wasn't behaving in primary. And also that one of Reagan's teacher's didn't understand Reagan's Autism Spectrum diagnosis, and was of the opinion that Reagan ought to be held to the same standard that the other kids in the class were.
Argh! It was one of those times that I wished ASD had an identifying "look" the way chemotherapy patients do. People look at Reagan, and she looks so normal. So they expect her to act normal too.
At home, I was back to segregating Reagan from Elsa and Cohen. I never knew when she was going to lash-out at them. Even Nick, who is Reagan's favorite person, seemed close to losing his temper with her. It was rough.
At school, Reagan was flailing.
She spectacularly failed her DIBELS test. She wasn't being compliant.
The emotional outbursts were happening again.
One morning, Reagan left the house, by herself. When I was doing Elsa's hair.
I couldn't find her anywhere.
I walked down to the school, and she wasn't there.
I went in to panic-mode. And was sobbing by the time I made it home. Fortunately, my neighbor found her in her backyard, right before I was about to call the police.
Either Nick or I take Reagan to school every day. And we wait with her until her Teacher comes to get her.
Reagan really wants to walk to school by herself. But that isn't going to happen any time soon.
Walking home though.... That's been another story.
One bright spot, as of late, has been our across-the-street neighbor. Little Kaleah has taken Reagan under her wing.
At the end of the school-day; I still go to the school, and wait outside Reagan's classroom. Every day, for a week, Kaleah would come out with Reagan. Kaleah would put on her coat, and her backpack; and then she would tell Reagan to grab on to her hood. Then, she and Reagan would run home together.
It has been a tender mercy.
So, there's that. But not everything has been peachy-keen.
To give you an idea, here's what the past week looked like:
Thursday, Reagan was walking home from school with Kaleah, and another girl joined them. As they were coming up the catwalk I could hear the other little girl matter-of-factly telling Reagan that Reagan wasn't invited to a party, that the little girl was going to; that afternoon.
Once that girl saw me, at the top of the walkway, she tried to backpedal and said that there wasn't really a party. But the damage was already done.
It didn't compute with Reagan. She couldn't understand why she couldn't follow that other girl home, and go to the party with her?
I ended up having to pick Reagan up, and carry her home. The entire time Reagan pulled my hair, screamed, and hit me in the face.
Friday, I went to help in Reagan's classroom. She cried, and was a mess the entire time. I haven't seen her act like that in ages!
I ate lunch with her. And then she went out to recess, and I went home.
After I had been home for a few minutes I got a text from another Mom that said that Reagan wasn't participating in the class party. She was just sitting in her chair, asking for her Mom. It broke my heart. I had no idea what I could do to help her?
Lately, Reagan has been freaking out if I tell her, "No". I try not to say it too much, but there are some things that she just cannot do. Friday night, I told Reagan she couldn't have a second ice cream bar, and she spit in my face!
It happened again on Saturday morning, when I told her she couldn't play with the iPad, because she needed to take a shower.
Sunday, she was combative all day.
Monday, was a holiday. We went to the movies with my family. Reagan hit and kicked Nick while we were out.
Tuesday, Reagan had another appointment with the psychiatrist. Right before the school day was about to end, I received a phone call from the vice principal. Reagan had misbehaved at recess, and was in her office. It was actually for something very trivial. And normally, I wouldn't have batted an eyelash at it. But after the way things had been going... A phone call from the school was the last thing I needed! I picked Reagan up from school and we headed to the Children's Center for her appointment. The psychiatrist could tell that Reagan was "off" the moment she walked out to meet us. Reagan was bouncing off the walls. And when we went back to Dr. Vo's office, Reagan head-butted me- multiple times! When I asked her to clean up the toys she had been playing with.
I think that the past two months have been the hardest I've ever experienced with Reagan!
Dr. Vo said that we overshot on the dosing of Reagan's Zoloft. That Reagan's behavior was indicative of too-much Zoloft. The good news was that Reagan's behavior isn't permanent (I hope!). The bad news was that we had to wean Reagan's Zoloft dose down.
Dr. Vo. also prescribed an anti-stimulant ADHD medication. But we couldn't start that, until she was back on the lower dose of Zoloft.
The week continued to be rough.
Friday morning I drove Reagan to school. The bell was about to ring, so I pulled in to the drive thru lane. Rather than parking and walking Reagan to her line.
It wasn't the first time I've done this. And in the past, Reagan has been OK with this scenario.
But that particular morning... Reagan hopped out of the car and started running in the opposite direction of the school! I put my car in park, and jumped out to chase her. Another driver honked at me, and it took all of my willpower not to flip her off!
I caught Reagan, and marched her to class. The entire way in to the building Reagan hit me. When we got to her classroom she kept crashing in to me. She would take two steps back, and then run at me full-speed.
It was no picnic.
On Saturday, we started giving her the ADHD medication.
Dr. Vo warned me that it would make Reagan tired. Well, on Saturday it knocked Reagan out for 4 hours!
Today, Reagan took another nap after church.
Yesterday, and today; she's still been defiant. But I have to believe that things will get better.
This little girl has so much potential! I would do anything to figure out a way to unlock it. She would be unstoppable.
2 comments:
Awe. That girl is, and will be amazing. It just takes a kind heart and patience, which I know you have so much of. ♡ Love to you all.
Hang in there!
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