Free, Free, Free! And It helps me!

Even if you're not a runner.
Even if you don't live close enough to participate.
Even if you don't like me.
...

Please, sign up!

 There's a registration option to "sleep in". This means you do not have to participate, HOWEVER, the UT chapter of the Komen Race for the CURE still receives the dontation from Walgreens.

 It is a good cause.
And it doesn't cost you a thing (except for a mere 5 minutes of your time).

And if you do want to particpate in the actual event!!! There is a 1 mile option, and a 5k option.

Again, here are the instructions:
•Go to http://www.komenutah.org/
•Click "Register Today"
•And then choose "Register"
•Click "Join A Team"
•Choose "First Time Registration" (unless you have registered before)
•Search for a team. Our team name is: WALGREENS TREASURED CHESTS, I am the team captain *It is important that you join this team!!!!
•Join the team: WALGREENS TREASURED CHESTS
•Under the Participant Options, complete all of your personal information; and under the ENTER COMPANY CODE section, use the company code: WAG2016 (WAG must be capitalized for the code to work). And this is how you get the registration fee paid for by Walgreens.
•Enter a fund raising goal, if you would like? But you certainly do not have to enter a dollar amount. You're already helping breast cancer research by signing up in the first place!
•Finish up your registration, and at the end the dollar amount to register should be $0.00

Run, Walk, or Sleep In- The Komen- for FREE!

Walgreens is a national sponsor of the Komen Race for the cure.  As a national sponsor, Walgreens will pay the registration fee for family and friends of Walgreens employees!  AND!!! the registration fee money is then donated back to support the Utah Chapter.  It's a win/win situation!  Walk or run the race, for free; and breast cancer research reaps the benefit.

This year, the event is on Saturday, May 7th, 2016.

I would love to be surrounded by familiar faces, as I participate in this event!  And I've heard that the free "swag" in the booths is pretty cool.

If you do not live nearby, or cannot participate that day, you can still sign up!  There is an option to "sleep in".

Please, sign yourself up.  Sign up your significant others.  And your children.  I did!

Below are the instructions on how to register, so that you can have the free registration:

• Go to http://www.komenutah.org/
• Click "Register Today"
• And then choose "Register"
• Click "Join A Team"
• Choose "First Time Registration"  (unless you have registered before)
• Search for a team.  Our team name is: WALGREENS TREASURED CHESTS Nick is the team captain  *It is important that you join this team!!!!
• Join the team: WALGREENS TREASURED CHESTS
• Under the Participant Options, complete all of your personal information; and under the ENTER COMPANY CODE section, use the company code: WAG2016 (WAG must be capitalized for the code to work).  And this is how you get the registration fee paid for by Walgreens.
• Enter a fund raising goal, if you would like?  But you certainly do not have to enter a dollar amount.  You're already helping breast cancer research by signing up in the first place!
• Finish up your registration, and at the end the dollar amount to register should be $0.00

LET'S ROCK THIS! So that Walgreens will donate the money raised here in UT to the local UT chapter.

If you have any questions, call, text, or email me.

Cancer Free.

I finished Radiation on February 25th.
It was grueling.
And it left me exhausted.
Not to mention, burned and blistered!   The skin that was radiated looked like the worst sunburn I've ever experienced!

Gratitude to my friend, Megan, for providing relief in the form of an aloe vera plant that she kindly lent to me.

The day of my last appointment Nick and I checked the kids out of school early; and we all went to HCI.
Generally, radiation treatments are very quick.
If everything is running on time, I can be in and out in 20 minutes.

And so, I finished!  I was sad to leave the girls that took care of me each day during radiation.  I genuinely liked seeing Amanda, RoseMarie, and Carli every day.
But the radiation itself?  Not so much.
I was happy to leave that behind.

My family met us for a late lunch, directly after my appointment.
We ate at the Cheesecake factory.

What a great group of people I get to be surrounded by.

At the beginning of radiation I had the flu.

At the end of radiation I had a cold.

My nose will not stop running.

I threw away all of my tampons, years ago (after I had my endometrial ablation).  But quite literally, I have been entertaining the idea of going to the store and purchasing a box, just so I can stick one up my nose, to stem the flow of snot!

Having a cold is not the way I wanted to start the beginning of my time without radiation.  Yuck.  The combination of the two has left me drained.

I am so tired.

That, in tandem with Nick's not-so-wonderful work schedule...  Makes me want to take a nap, just thinking about it.

Last week Elsa begged me to paint her fingernails.

I was lying on the couch, and did not want to move.

So Elsa brought the nail polish to me (I keep the lacquer on the high shelf in my medicine cabinet).

Whenever I give the girls manicures, Cohen always begs for one too; and Nick always tells him that "Boys don't paint their nails".

Generally, I will paint one or two of Cohens nails, to pacify him.

Well, back to the story at hand: after obliging Elsa, and spiffing up her nails; I managed to muster what energy I had left- and put the kids to bed.

As I was going to sleep, myself, I thought: "I should put that bottle of nail polish away.  But, nah.  I'll wait until the morning.  Really?  What could happen?".

Doh!

Cohen got out of bed (as he so often does).

And found the bottle of polish.

He painted his own toenails: 

 But he didn't stop there.

It was everywhere upstairs, in the living areas.  On every surface.
Fortunately?  I have had to clean up nail polish before (most of you may recall that Reagan was a master at "decorating" different surfaces of the house, when she was 2 years old.  And for the longest time, anything that could have been used as an artistic medium was contraband in our house).
I know that windex, and a lot of elbow grease, get nail polish out of the carpet.

The nail polish on the wall, though, wasn't cleaning up easily.  It was taking the paint off, and leaving a blue hue.
So, I went in to our basement, and pulled out (what I thought) was the paint can with the color used to paint our dining room, and family room walls.
I started painting.
But as the paint dried, I realized it was several shades darker that what I needed.

I fished out the correct can of paint color, only to discover that it was dry as a bone.
After sighing in frustration, I took Reagan (did I mention that she was sick too, and stayed home from school for two days? Yeah,  It was totally an easy week! Not,) and Cohen with me to Home Depot; to get a new can of paint.

I painted the wall and that was the end.
I hope.

Beyond all of that...
I can officially say that I am cancer free!
And when I make it to the 5 year mark, provided the cancer doesn't come back, I will be able to say I am cured!

11 Years With The Man of My Dreams.

I'm of the opinion that the position of primary caregiver is more difficult than being the patient.

Nick has held up like a champ, during the past 10 months.
He has listened to me complain, without complaint.

And, not that I have much of a "filter", when it comes to saying what I think...  But with Nick, I can speak freely; without having to fear judgement.
Sometimes he will give me a look of reproach.  But beyond that, he humors me.

He cares for our children.
And puts in looooong hours at work, to provide for us.

I love how we can communicate without words. 
And that he brings such a sense of humor in to our home.

He's a good egg.
We celebrated 11 years of marriage on March 5th.

Oh. L'amour.
I still think my choice of: tall, dark, and handsome husband; is the best I have ever made.

Radiation.

So, the good news is that my hair is coming back.  I can officially part it!

The other news is that I have really been struggling to survive radiation.

I suppose, it's actually a combination of things that have got me down... 
I've thought about blogging, every day.  But I literally have "nothing left in the tank" from sunup, until sundown; it seems.
I'm floundering.

By the end of last week, I felt like I was well acquainted with the "depths of despair".  I've NEVER been someone that has struggled with depression (I am lucky, I know.).  But, boy howdy, I sure felt like the "fight" had gone out of me.

Radiation makes me so tired.  I have not had energy to get anything done.
On top of that, I came down with the flu.  The real stuff.  Not the 24 hour puke fest, that so many people refer to as the flu.
I ended up back at Huntsman with a temperature of 103.
When I was released, I quarantined myself in our guestroom for the next few days.
Those two setbacks, combined with (what feels like) a never ending winter...  Will the snow ever melt?!  And will I ever see the sun again?  The Wasatch front has the nastiest inversion.
Lead me to feeling like I there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

Frankly, I am so tired of being knocked down.  Metaphorically, speaking.
How many more times will I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps?  I didn't know if I had it in me?

And then!!!  I was reminded that I'm not in this by myself.

A storm blew away the inversion.  And melted a lot of the snow.  Thank you, Heavenly Father.
And my Grandma celebrated her 87th birthday.

For her birthday she asked that the family deep clean (her already immaculate) house.
After a crummy week, my parents told me that I didn't need to help with the cleaning.  But I really wanted to go to Grantsville to celebrate the life of an amazing woman, who has been such a good example to me.

Reagan and Elsa had slept over at Kay's.  Nick was working.  So, I took Cohen with me.  We washed walls.  See my adorable nephew in the background?!   Two handsome boys.

And it turned out to be just what the doctor ordered!
My Grandma's house was packed to the gills with Imlay's!  It was wonderful.
Cousins, aunts, and uncles.   I can't even remember the last time so many of us were in the same place, at the same time!
I wandered from room to room, marinating in the love; and listening to the conversation.  And just plain finding happiness.

I didn't have to pull myself up by the bootstraps this time.  My family lifted me up.

On a funny note: Cohen was fascinated with my Grandma's corded wall-phone.
He said, "Grandpa, what's that?".
And my Dad gave Cohen a tutorial in how a "real" phone works.

Beyond all of the gloom, I'll give an update on my cancer journey:
I have decided to continue with the chemotherapy that is administered every three weeks.
I wanted to call it off after that round that occurred directly after my mastectomy.

Just to recap, I'm having chemo drugs called Herceptin, and perjeta administered; as part of a study.  In layman terms: these drugs suppress the HER2 in my body (that's the stuff that my specific cancer was "feeding" on).  Usually, people only get Herceptin, and perjeta for a few months, while they are getting the heavy chemo drugs.  But the study I am doing is looking to see if giving those drugs for an entire year lessens the chance that the cancer will recur?
This is what I can do to "pay it forward".
I had been under the impression that I would only be doing this until June.  And of course, as soon as I decided to go forward with it I found out that I'd actually be getting the infusions until September!!!
But I'll make it work.
And it isn't all bad.  I really do enjoy the part where people I love accompany me to chemo.  It is so nice to be able to sit in the chair, and visit.
I could do without the side effects...  Yes, I won't lose my hair with these types of drugs.  But I continue to have perma-diarrhea, and I could certainly live without that.

The thing I cannot live without is a loving family.  And I am so blessed to have one.  Both immediate, extended, and friends that feel like family.

Stuff About the Kids.

I am always grateful for the abundance of over-achievers that live in my neighborhood.

The local Mom's are completely on top of things.

At church, Reagan has been accommodated nicely.  They have her in a one-on-one situation for primary.  It has made such a difference!  She is retaining the lessons, and fighting with us a lot less about attending primary.

At school, things have been amazing!

Elsa's elementary school hosted a fundraiser, of which, we were the recipients.
People were embarrassingly generous.

I have struggled with finding a way to properly thank all of the people that have helped us.  These days, "Thank You" just doesn't seem big enough.
We never would have survived without the help of others.
I walk around with a heart full of gratitude.

Elsa's elementary school PTO hosted an Art Show.  It was fun.  And Elsa was proud to show off the snowman that she painted.

Thanks to Grandma Scheurer, Elsa's "100 days of school" art project turned out beautifully:

I was sick, so Kay helped Elsa with that particular homework assignment.

I very nearly asked Kay to make the poster say "For Sale", rather than "Elsa".  These days Elsa has been very trying.  To say the least.  Holy Moley!  She will only wear knee socks.  She throws a fit about wearing pants (because she wants to wear shorts- even though it is still winter outside!).  Depending on the day, she will insist that she wants to eat certain foods (that I never seem to have on hand), one day it is Naan, another it is meatballs, and this week it has been lasagna.  Of course, OF COURSE; the moment I purchase that food for her- she doesn't want to eat it anymore!!!  AHHH!  If I could pull my hair out, I would!
Middle Child.  Can't live with her, can't live without her.

Cohen is my favorite buddy.  Now that potty training is back on track.
Thank goodness for drama-free attitudes of boys.

Lately he has been saying a lot of things that make me raise an eyebrow, though.

Take our trip to Dollar Tree, for instance. 

We were there purchasing things to make a birthday poster for Elsa, since they were celebrating her half-birthday at school.

While I was paying, I heard Cohen tell the lady behind us, in line, "Humans shot my Dad with a gun.  He died."

My jaw was on the ground!

Cohen followed it up, immediately, by saying: "Colored Aliens killed my Mom.".

Where he got an idea like that, is beyond me???

One of Cohen's playmates asked him if he had any brothers?  Cohen, in the saddest voice he could muster, said: "No.  Only sisters".

When I told Nick about the comical exchange, Nick asked Cohen if he had any brothers?  Nick was hoping to replicate Cohen's prior response.  Instead, Cohen told Nick, "yes, I have a brother".  Nick inquired about where this brother was?  And Cohen replied, "my brother fell in a volcano".

Nice.

Yesterday, I was downstairs folding laundry.  Cohen came down and handed me my phone.  Cohen said, "The old man is going to come get me".

Me: "What???"

Cohen: "I talked to the old man, on the phone.  He said he would come get me."

Sure enough, my phone showed an incoming call that lasted 30 seconds.

It was scary.

I called the number back, and it was for a telemarketing scheme.

I made double-sure to set the alarm that night.

I'm pretty certain that it was just another one of Cohen's "stories".  Where he comes up with them, I don't know?

The girls loved watching Sesame Street when they were pre-schoolers.  Reagan's favorite show is still Curious George.  But Cohen has never enjoyed the shows that are educational.  He wants to watch Power Rangers!  (Colored Aliens) Kill me now!  LOL

That TV show is the worst.

And, did you know, that on Netflix; there are TWENTY different versions of Power Rangers?!  I counted.

Cohen may want to do Karate, and wrestle, like the people he sees on TV.  But he is also a total sweetheart.

At least once a day, Cohen will walk past me, nonchalantly, and kiss my head.  He follows the kiss up by saying, "I Wuv Ya".  It melts my heart.

Reagan still struggles, many days.

There's no rhyme, or reason to it?

One day, will be perfect.  And the next...   Well, let's just say- less than perfect.

I've had a hard time with the punishment that they've imposed upon her at school.

If she misbehaves on a Tuesday (for example), she will be excluded from the party that they are having on Friday.  Or, she will be told that she needs to go to "ISS" the following day.

I do not agree with consequences that are delayed.

I don't think that Reagan should get off scott-free from bad behavior.  But I think she should be reprimanded immediately.

I know that her teacher is doing the best he can, considering that he is dealing with a classroom full of special needs kids.  But I must say that I am looking forward to parent teacher conferences, so that I can have a distraction-free conversation with him.

All of this gets be back to my love-fest with Elsa's school.

The administrators, teachers, PTO, and parent-volunteers are all top-notch.

I'm always kept abreast of what is going on at Burton Elementary.  It is great.

At the Learning Center, where Reagan attends, I am not "in the know".

Yesterday, Reagan brought home a newsletter.  That was for the month of January.

AND, see this picture?

The coat she is wearing was stolen at school.
Not misplaced.  Stolen.
Reagan wore it to school one day, but came home that afternoon (in freezing temperatures) without it.

I received a note that said, Reagan had hung the coat up, outside the lunchroom (the teachers of Reagan's class eat lunch with them); and when they left the lunchroom to go to recess, the coat was gone.
I will say, that Reagan's classroom aide, Mr. K; impresses me.  He gave Reagan his coat, to wear for the rest of the day.  And he plays with the kids at recess.

But I'm still highly irritated about the coat incident!  After it didn't turn up (Reagan's name is written on the tag of the coat).  I went down to the school myself.
I sifted through the lost-and-found bin.  And searched the coat racks.  No coat.
When I mentioned it to Reagan's teacher, I was essentially told, "sorry Charlie".  Coats being stolen is apparently a common occurrence.

So, yes.  I am impressed with the other Mom's that make up my 'hood!  Thank you for taking care of me, and mine.

2016

Being neglectful about blog posting is probably not the best way to start off the new year...

But what are you going to do?

I constantly try to recall what life was like before I started chemo?

I know I was a lot more "on the ball".

I wonder if things will ever go back to being like that?

I was taking a walk with my friend, Rebecca, the other day and she used the word "salacious" in a sentence.  In my head, I was in complete admiration of her use of vocabulary!  Maybe, I should say that I was jealous?  I used to have a fantastic grip on the English language.

My sharp eyesight has been coming back.

But not so, my brain.

I struggle to recall simple words.

It's maddening.

My hair's coming back too.

I took this picture a few weeks ago. 

Since then, Reagan has lost her other front tooth, and my hair has thickened up, and really started to come in!
It means I've had to start shaving my legs again, but I am 100% fine with that.  And we all know I have no shortage of razors.  Ha Ha!
I made an appointment to have my eyebrows waxed.  I welcomed it!
I wanted to have my eyelashes tinted.  But they aren't long enough yet.

However, with the growth of my hair, and the fact that I've started having my eyebrows manicured again; it all equaled a nice "shot in the arm".  I'm starting to feel like a girl once more!!!

Fortunately, Kmart was having a sale on pajama's and undergarments; so I was able to buy several new bras for $2.50 apiece.
I don't NEED them.  But I like to wear them.  It makes me feel more normal.
The tissue expanders make me feel anything BUT normal.  I hate, Hate, HATE them.   By the end of the day, I have been tempted to tear the tissue expanders out of my chest with my fingers!

The best way I can explain how they feel, would be to say: that it's like wearing a too-tight underwire bra.  That you can never take off.  Ever.
Like I said, at bedtime; it's the worst.  It is when I am in the most pain.

All the more reason to finish up radiation quickly.  Once I am done with radiation, I have to wait 3 months before I can get reconstruction.
Those three months cannot pass quickly enough!  I want these hard-as-rock tissue expanders gone.
As far as the reconstruction surgery goes; I've decided that I am going to do the DIEP (tissue taken from my tummy, to reconstruct my chest).
I had been reconsidering, after all of the time I spent in the hospital from my mastectomy.  But my plastic surgeon told me that if I just wanted to have silicone implants, it would not be an out-patient surgery; like it is for some people.
If I did that, I'd have to have muscle taken from my back, to build a "sling" for the implants to sit in.

If they're going to cut in to me one way, or another, I might as well go for the tummy-tuck option.

I had my first real round of radiation this morning.
It didn't feel like anything.
I relaxed on a table, and listened to Pandora radio; while the radiation machine slowly rotated around me.  No sweat.
This time, anyway.
The radiation oncologist said that I wouldn't start feeling side effects until round 8.

And just FYI, radiation is EVERY DAY; Monday thru Friday.
Also, I had initially been told that I'd have to have 7 weeks of radiation.  But once the radiation oncologist looked at my file, he recommended that I only have 5 weeks of radiation.  Finally!  A win!

Before I started radiation I had to go in for some prep work.
This included making a mold of my upper torso, head, and arms. I chill in that Styrofoam mold during every radiation treatment, so that I am in the same position each time.
Being in the same exact position, down to the millimeter, is so important that they tattooed four dots on my body; so that they can line lasers up to the tattoos each day.
Yes, the tattoos are permanent.

And getting them done was no picnic.
I have no idea how people can stand getting "inked"?
This is the picture my sister took, right after I received my tattoos.  The small dot, in the center of the circle mark, is the tattoo.



I was told that radiation would be the same time every day.  But that's not the case.  My radiation calendar has appointments all over the place.  Sometimes I will have to be there for radiation at 7AM, and sometimes my appointment is as late as 3:30PM.

Again, what are you going to do about it?

Beyond the latest news concerning me...

Things are floating along around our house.

Christmas break was really difficult.

I was expecting Reagan to struggle, since she was going two weeks without her typical routine.  And she did.

But I did not expect Cohen to decide that he was going to refuse to poop in the toilet, all of the sudden?

That boy.

I did not relish having to purchase a package of diapers while I was at the grocery store.



I think he is back on track?
I hope he is.


Reagan is, Reagan.
I really feel like her Autistic tendencies are becoming more pronounced, as she gets older.
A lot of the time it is like having a "terrible-two-er" in a 7-year-olds body.  It's really hard to reason with her.  And her attention span is still pretty non-existent.
She doesn't like to talk.
When I ask her questions, she will either tell me that she doesn't want to talk, or she won't answer me at all.
But she is also terribly sweet, and innocent.
I am fairly certain that I will keep her in the learning center for 3rd grade.  3rd grade was the year that I remember the mean-girls finding their "mean", and I don't want Reagan to have to encounter that.
I still feel like the academics are severely lacking, in the learning center...
However, it's the best situation for Reagan's behavioral issues.
I feel like I start so many of my sentences with, "as soon as I am healthy..."
But, as soon as I am healthy :), I will work with Reagan a lot more at home.


Elsa is doing well.  And, be still my beating heart!, she loves school!   She also loves to read.
When she uses her whiny voice it still makes me want to poke myself in the eye!
But I guess everyone has to have a flaw?