Should Know Better.

"Silence is Golden". Any parent (especially of young children) can tell you this is baloney. Silence usually ='s naughtiness.

I know this. I know this. I know this.

Or, maybe not.

I swear, my IQ decreases by the day. I am no longer using my brain at a 40-hour-a-week job anymore- there go IQ points. Once you become a parent it is a "given" that you get stupider (I have heard this is especially true once you have teenagers in the house- I know I spent a lot of time, at the age of 17, thinking that my Mom knew nothing. I was wrong. Sorry, Mom, for thinking you weren't smart).

Suffering from the "pregnancy disease" does nothing to help my intelligence. I will be lucky to come out of labor and delivery with any sort of brain function.

Anyway... where am I going with this? Give me a second (or minute) to think. Ha Ha.

I took Reagan to run some errands last night. By the time we got to the last stop, at the bank, she was D-O-N-E. I was struggling to get her to sit still while I tried to sign paperwork. One of the employees at the bank saw my predicament and brought Reagan some paper to color on, and (what I thought were) some crayons.

I was getting through the paperwork, and had the thought, "Wow! Reagan is sitting so quietly coloring. That never happens!".

LIGHTBULB!

That never happens, because Reagan does not sit quietly unless she is doing something mischievous. I looked over and realized that Regan had a pen, and was using it to color on her arm. She had blue ink everywhere. From the point above her elbow all of the way to her fingers. And of course, it was on her clothes too. I am sure everyone loves getting ink out of clothing as much as I do.

I loaded Reagan in to the car and headed for home. But was sidetracked by Dairy Queen... I have been craving ice cream lately.

I justified it by telling myself that I'd get some for Reagan too. At the drive-thru window I specified that I wanted a baby-small ice cream cone for my kid. They obliged. I gave Reagan the cone and was pleasantly surprised to find that she didn't spill any in the car on the short ride to our house.

Once home, I set Reagan on the tile in the kitchen to eat her cone, while I put things away and did some cleaning. I thought I was pretty clever. If she spilled on the tile it would be easy cleanup. Too bad I forgot that Reagan is no longer a newborn and DOES NOT stay where I put her.

For the second time in a matter of hours, I realized that I wasn't hearing anything. I went to the kitchen and found it empty. This is what I found in the family room, adjacent to the living room:

It's my own fault. Good thing I was going to clean the carpets this week anyway.

It's not like I ever had aspirations to go on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, but at this point I don't think I'd win a thing because I am not even smarter than a 23 month old.