Cry Me A River.

Lots of tears have been shed in the past two weeks.

 

My baby boy started preschool.  When did he get so big?

Reagan has been so emotionally volatile.  She had an appointment scheduled with the psychiatrist; but it was cancelled (due to an illness), and rescheduled for a date when Nick couldn't take her.
Reagan needed to go.  So, I said a massive prayer before I got behind the wheel of my car; and I took Reagan to her appointment.  It's the most I have driven since the beginning of June.
At the appointment I found out that Reagan has gained 6 pounds in the 3.5 months.  Yikes!  The psychiatrist said it is the effect of the medication Reagan is on.  Exasperation!
Dr. Vo added a new medication to Reagan's regimen.  It's supposed to help her focus.

Also recently, Reagan has decided that she wants to have her own room.
Surprising, since she looks so cozy with her sister, when they fall asleep in the same bed :)

It means that we've been doing a bedroom shuffle at our house.
Reagan has taken up residence in Cohen's room.  And Cohen has been sleeping downstairs in Reagan's room.
I've been sleeping in the downstairs guest room.  I like the memory foam topper on the bed in that room, and I am usually up multiple times during the night, with tummy troubles; when I sleep down there I don't disturb Nick.
It also means that I really need to re-arrange some furniture.  But before I can do that, I need to pick up a bunker board from Deseret Industries.  And I'd like to go to IKEA, to see if I can purchase a dresser (the one in Cohen's current bedroom has seen better days).
Add it to my LONG list of errands that I need to run.  Sigh.

I wasn't crying when my Seattle-friend, Melissa, came to town.  We met up for dinner.  It was delightful to visit with her.

I was crying last weekend, when I couldn't find a babysitter, so that Nick and I could go to the BYU vs. Boise Football game.  Man! I wished we could have gone to that game.

Nick has been showing signs of caregiver burnout.  So, I insisted that he accompany his brother to the opening game of the BYU football season, in Nebraska.
They left on a Friday afternoon, and stayed the night in Cheyenne.  Then, they drove to Lincoln, NE on Saturday, and went to the game.  They spent the night in Lincoln, and then drove home on Sunday.
What an amazing game for Nick to be able to attend!
Plus, their seats were directly in the area where Mitch Matthews caught the play-winning ball!
See:

Here's a blurry picture of the moments right after the Hail-Mary play.

 And one of the scoreboard showing the winning score.

Nick didn't take any selfies.  He said Nate took pictures of them both, standing in front of the stadium, etc.   WITH THIS CAMERA...  Who uses a camera anymore these days?!  Kind of a bummer that I don't have any pictures to upload, of Nick at the game.
I watched the game at home, and startled the kids, when I started jumping up and down and screaming; after BYU won the game...

Beyond all of that...  The past two weeks of chemo have NOT been kind.  The week that one of my oldest and dearest childhood friends, Michele, took me to chemo, the nurse put the needle in to my port sideways!  That made me cry.  It hurt a lot. Especially when she tried (unsuccessfully) to flush the port line out with the saline solution!  The nurse had to pull the needle out, and try again.  My port site looked like hamburger.
My wonderful Aunt Karen took me to chemo last week.
Fortunately, I was able to have my favorite nurse, Gary, taking care of me.  So, the infusion itself, wasn't that bad.
It's the side effects that are getting harder to cope with.
My joints are killing me!
It doesn't help that I jammed my toe two weeks ago.  I wasn't able to exercise for 10 days because of it.
I have walked the past three mornings.  But it's not like my joints stop hurting, once I'm warmed up.  They just hurt.  All the time.
It's mainly my hip and knee joints.  With the occasional shoulder pain thrown in, for good measure.
I'm watching myself blow up like a balloon, and it sucks.

I will say that I am glad to see wide-leg jeans are coming back in to style, this fall!  I can't fit in to any of my skinny jeans right now.  I've pulled out several pairs of my wide leg jeans that used to be too big for me; and they fit.  It's something to be grateful for.

My biggest crybaby moment has come on the form of a neighborhood meanie.  This gal took me to one of my chemo appointments.  I will take full ownership of the fact that the conversation got more "gossip-y" than it should have.  My short-term memory remains in a sorry state.  So, recalling precisely what was said is very fuzzy for me.  But I do know that I didn't have a mean-spirited intent.

Anyway... that particular girlie betrayed my confidences.
And the most hurtful thing that came out of all of it (for me) was that this girl said that: "I (meaning me, Brooke) like having cancer.  And the attention it brings me".
Ouch!  I don't think I've ever had anything so hurtful said!
Needless to say, she has been written off my "friend list".  But that statement was very painful for me to hear.  And it still stings to think about it!

On the flip side.  I am surrounded by so many wonderful, caring people.  I'm going to do my best to not let "One bad apple spoil the whole bunch"!

I love all of you!