What the Weekend Brought.

Nick worked Friday night, and all-day Saturday.

I tried to get things done.  But wasn't very successful.

 

Friday morning, was Reagan's "1st Grade Spring Sing".  Prior to my diagnosis, I was told that Reagan had been participating in 2/3 of the songs they were singing.  I was so pleased!  At home, I would catch her belting out the tunes she was learning.  It made me happy.

The day-of her "Spring Sing" I could tell that her anxiety levels were sky-high!  She was a wreck.  She sang one song, and burst in to tears.  It hurt my heart.  I didn't make her sing anymore.  She came in to the audience, and sat on my lap.  Then, we quietly left, and I took her home.

 

On Sunday, we went to worship service, and Reagan's misbehavior was epic.  We've started her on a new medication.  She hasn't been as violent, as she has in the past.  But there's definitely been an increase in emotional outbursts.  I'm not sure if it is because we need to increase the dosage of her new medication, or if it is because she can feel the change of atmosphere in our home?  Maybe it's a little of both.

When I pray, I've been spending the majority of my time pleading with God to alleviate Reagan's anxiety.  Oh, my poor girl.  I wish there were some way I could take her struggles upon myself, so she didn't have to deal with them.

It's funny, because my Mom has said the same thing.  She said she would gladly take my cancer, so that I didn't have to go through this.

That Mother/Child bond...  It's one of the strongest.

 

Monday, I got up early.  Super, early.  I set my alarm for 5:30AM.  But I was wide awake at 4:30AM. 

I have been taking Nyquil, to help me sleep at night.  Sunday night, I decided to try Benadryl, instead.  It didn't work as well.

 

Rather than staying in bed, and tossing, and turning.  I opted to get out of bed.  I got dressed in my workout gear, and I wrote a few Yelp reviews.

 

At 5:45AM, Brian and Jenny picked me up and we drove out to Grantsville.

We met Jeff, and my Uncle Lee there.

All five of us (plus Cannon, in the stroller) ran the Clark Historic Farm 5k.

 

Everyone sported "pink" gear, to support me.  It was very cool.

 

The race itself was really poorly organized, and the course wasn't marked well, at all.  In fact, Jeff ended up running half-a-mile more than he was supposed to, because there were no course markers.  He ended up coming in to the finish line from the direction opposite to what everyone else did.  If Jeff hadn't of taken that detour, he'd have finished in the top 3.  Sorry Jeff.

 

I pulled in a decent time, for a 5K.

Pre-cancer diagnosis, I was so frustrated that I couldn't seem to build up my mileage.  I could go 5 miles, but beyond that, it wasn't happening.  Now I know why.

3.2 miles is comfortable.  I can still do it, without killing myself.  I REALLY want to try to maintain a 3 mile running capability through my next 5 months of chemo.  I think it is entirely "doable".

 

About 1/4 of a mile before the finish line, another woman passed me, and she put a pretty big gap between us.

With a few hundred meters to go, I "turned it on", and ran down the distance between us.  It was invigorating!  She didn't realize I was going to pass her, until I was right next to her.  We sprinted to the finish line.  I think she edged me out (by a nose), but on the official records from the race, they placed me as finishing before her.  I'll take it.



After the race, we all cleaned up.  Heather went to the store and picked up donuts.  And we met my parents (who had brought my kids out with them, because Nick had to work), my grandma, several aunts, uncles, and cousins; at the cemetery.  Where we placed flowers on the headstones of my Grandpa, great-grandparents, and other relatives.

Then, we went back to my Grandma's house, and had lunch.  My cousin's played games.  My kids wandered around outside, and spent most of their time petting the neighbor's horses.

I got a little teary, at one point.  Because I thought, "this is the last "normal" day I'm going to have for a long time".
I'm doing my best to maintain a positive outlook.  But sometimes this crappy, crappy situation really gets to me.

I was so exhausted by the time we got home that afternoon!
My parents graciously took my kids to their house, and I had a few hours to myself.
What I really wanted to do, was take a nap.  What I actually did, was turn up my music, and got started cleaning and doing laundry.
It's got to be done.
And it is killing me to think there are aspects of my life that I will not be in full control of!  I love my "normal" life.  I have our family schedule, down to an art.  This probably won't be the last time I utter this sentiment...  This really sucks!

OK.  Pity Party over.

Tuesday.  Tuesday, I got up and worked out.  And got Reagan off to school.  Nick and I dropped Cohen and Elsa off with my neighbor, Kristie.  And we went up to Huntsman.

Truth be told, I was terrified of having my port put in.  After my awful biopsy experience, I was really thinking I couldn't take much more pain.
The nurse got my IV placed, and blood gushed everywhere.  I very nearly walked out of the room.  I was praying, like crazy, for courage!

They took me back to the operating room, and I was administered some Versed, and pain meds.  It made me very comfortable.  They call it "conscious sedation".  I was able to coherently contribute to the conversation that the PA (who was performing the surgery on me), and the nurse were having, but I was completely at ease with the fact that the PA was cutting in to my neck and collar bone area.
I did feel a twinge when he shot me up with lidocaine.  But I couldn't feel anything after that.

When they were done, I walked myself back to the recovery room.

I got dressed, and we were free to go.

I was drowsy.  And hungry.
Nick stopped at Little Caesars for me.  I ate some pizza, and then took a little nap when we got home.

I'm not in pain.  The bandage covering my juglar is irritating.  And I can't really turn my head.  But I have to say, that getting my port installed went far better than I anticipated it would.

On a not-so-happy note...  I just received a phone call, and I have to go in, on Thursday, to have a Bone Scan, and a CT scan, because my insurance won't approve the PET scan!!!  GRRRR.  My oncologist said she spent half-an-hour on the phone, arguing with the guy at my insurance company; and he wouldn't budge.

So, rather than spending a few hours getting a PET scan; I now get to go spend the better part of my day having two procedures done.  I would think it would be more cost-effective to get a PET scan, as opposed to both a CT scan, AND a bone scan???  But what do I know?